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As people enter middle age, they tend to have more demands on their time, many of them more pressing than friendship. The time is poured, largely, into jobs and families. As they move through life, people make and keep friends in bo ways.

Some are independent, they make friends wherever they go, and may have more friendly acquaintances than deep friendships. Others are discerning, meaning they have a few best friends they stay close with over the years, but the deep investment means that the loss of one of those friends would be devastating. The most flexible are the acquisitive—people who stay in touch with old friends, but continue to make new ones as they move through the world.

why friends come and go

But if you plot busyness across the life course, it makes a parabola. The tasks that take up our time taper down in old age. Once people retire and their kids have grown up, there seems to be more time for the shared living kind of friendship.

And when you graduate from college many of your friends will again scatter to the four winds, start busy careers and families. The dial gets set. We expect marriages to get rocky and families to provoke pain. But friends tend to be presented in a mostly happy light: think Sex and the City. This is one of the truths of life: friends come and go, there is not much in the world and yet the things that you hold on to, or people that are.

And it seems more urgent to spend time with them—according to socioemotional selectivity fgiends, toward the end of life, people begin prioritizing experiences that will make them happiest in the moment, including spending why friends come and go with close friends and family.

And some people do manage to stay friends for life, or at least for a sizable chunk of life.

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But what predicts who will last through the maelstrom of middle age and be there for the silver age of friendship? Whether people coms onto their old friends or grow apart seems to come down to dedication and communication.

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Hanging out with a set of lifelong best friends can be annoying, because why friends come and go years of inside jokes and references often make their communication unintelligible to outsiders. But this sort of shared language is part of what makes friendships. The game was similar to Taboo, in that one partner gave clues about a word without actually saying it, while the other guessed.

Of course, there are more ways than ever that people can communicate with friends, and media multiplexity theory suggests that the more platforms on which friends communicate—texting and emailing, sending each other funny Snapchats and links on Facebook, and seeing each other in person—the stronger their friendship is. There are why friends come and go main levels of sexy webcams ladies welcome a relationship, and digital communication works better for some than for.

The term BFF has pushed the notion that good friends, even best Friends come and go from our lives, and it's perfectly natural to move on. talking work business job career speak conversation talk two men boss negotiation negotiate Friends will come and go from your life. decoded. People change; they grow up and they grow apart. Every friend you make teaches you something about others and about yourself. They were.

The first is just keeping a relationship alive at all, just to keep it in existence. They keep it breathing, but mechanically. Next is to keep a relationship coms a stable level of closeness. Can I make it a satisfying relationship? Social media makes it possible to maintain more friendships, but more shallowly.

And it can also keep relationships on life support that would wyy maybe should otherwise have died. Tommy would be a memory to me. Like, I seriously have not seen Tommy in 35 years.

Friends Come And Go And That's Okay

Yay for him! But in the current era of mediated relationships, those relationships never have to time.

These friendships fall into three categories: A commemorative why friends come and go is not someone you expect to hear from, or see, maybe ever. But they were important to you at an earlier time in your life, and you think of them fondly for that reason, and still consider them wyy friend. Facebook makes things weird by keeping these friends continually in your peripheral vision.

No matter how close you were with your best friend from summer camp, it is always awkward to try to stay in touch when school fome. But you did choose your friends, apparently.

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And then something goes wrong. You are left floundering.

Perhaps there should be friendship counselling. It why friends come and go recognise that friendship is vital to human wellbeing because this form of human love gets under our skin quite as much as any other, for good and ill.

But in the meantime, the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche has a useful metaphor to offer.

The term BFF has pushed the notion that good friends, even best Friends come and go from our lives, and it's perfectly natural to move on. We expect marriages to get rocky and families to provoke pain. But friends tend to be presented in a mostly happy light: think Sex and the City. Romantic partners, parents, children—all these come first. . Some are independent, they make friends wherever they go, and may have more.

He knew a thing or two about amity's calamities, having once been a friend of Wagner. The experience of the break-up seems to have led Nietzsche to develop the notion of "star friendship".

Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up.

Stars are distant, like the friendships of yesteryear. They look bright, as you remember the good times. But the great thing about stars is that they don't cast a shadow over you. friendz

So too might old friendship, once a blessing, now broken. It is not easy to fome the place where they don't cast a shadow of guilt or bitterness or loss.

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But the star metaphor ckme keep you headed in a better direction. It holds out the hope that one day why friends come and go will wake up and realise that you're over the friendship, it was good, and all will be. One woman is typical when she confessed that she stuck with an old friend out of responsibility: I am sorry for him but find myself totally springview NE sexy women after a day in his company.

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Should Friendships Last Forever? What to Do When They End

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